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All posts for the month April, 2015

So this one time, husband and I went to one of our two favorite dive bars. I was still on medication that (unbeknownst to me) reacted harshly with alcohol. Worse, it did this completely unpredictably.

Back to the story. We were hanging out and I’d had a few. Or a lot. I’d made a friend with another cute small woman who was even more drunk than I was. While we were sitting there we added one another on facebook and took selfies. Eventually she had to pee and got up to find the bathroom. That’s when it happened. I thought I was being cute. I thought I was being clever. I wrote a note along the lines of “Nix was here!”

I put the note inside of her purse.

I did NOTHING ELSE to her purse. Nothing. I took nothing out, and the note was the only thing I put in.

It was still a completely horrible idea. She’d unfriended me by the next morning.

I’m still totally mortified and it’s been like a year.

Today I found out that the neuropathy and pain I’ve been experiencing since last year is not Carpal Tunnel. For those who will wonder: this was the second round of painful testing. We’re sure. So…

Dear Body:

While I’m not willing to publicly admit how long we’ve been together, make no mistake about it. We will be together for a long long time, and we will be fucking active and mobile and interesting and fun. I’ve had about enough of your fucking bullshit, body. You’ve fought me this entire goddamned time. Well you’ve been put on notice. I’m done. Stop trying to put me out. It won’t work.

p.s. That whole being allergic to the good drugs thing? They make drugs even better than that you fuck. Don’t make me go there.