Genetics blessed (lol) me with LOTS of birthmarks. None of them are/were huge. The biggest was smaller than a jellybean in circumference. I’ve had three of them removed over the years.

The first was when I was 14. After a childhood of being tormented by other kids about it, my mother finally agreed to have the really big ugly one removed from my shoulder. It really was ugly, too. Like…a pencil eraser or the top joint of my impossibly small pinkie fingers. Kids are mean and had worked like hell to make me miserable about it.

The second was in my early 20s. I finally had health insurance again and got to see a dermatologist again finally. A few of the spots on my back had gotten slightly bigger, so insurance was willing to pay to make sure they were safe (they were).

That was it. From that point, insurance would pay for a full-body checkup, but no removals, since three out of three had been completely benign. 

Until today. 

Y’all, I’ve been hoping for this for almost 25 years. THAT IS A LONG FUCKING TIME. I went in today for a checkup. At the end she said that insurance would probably pay to remove the bad ones three at a time…

…and did I want to start today?

You’re fucking right I wanted to start today!

It didn’t even really hit me until I got home and told a few friends. 

Now and then there are happy endings. This was one of those times.